A Message to Hockey Parents: Training versus Trying

My friend Shaun Goodsell and the folks from Mental Edge just keep coming with the gems, and the following article fits in that category.

So, as always, I’m psyched that Shaun shares his stuff — with me, and with all CoachChic.com members.

– Dennis Chighisola

I see a trend emerging in our young people that is troubling. Actually, I see many trends that are troubling but for purposes of this article I want to highlight one.

If you study athletics it doesn’t take long to understand that one vital aspect of becoming more skilled and a more experienced athlete is you HAVE to TRAIN. Training involves repetitively immersing yourself in the components of the sport to progressively improve and prepare oneself in an attempt to meet the demands of the sport. The focus here is on a process that involves ongoing discipline, commitment, sacrifice, and yes, deep struggle. Training is not a quick fix, it often has many ups and downs and these ups and downs provide opportunities for learning that build the solid baseline of learning for long term growth and self mastery. To truly improve and see that improvement stick when tested requires a mindset and lifestyle of training. To engage in this style of life you have to give up the addiction to comfort and embrace a lifestyle of struggle which provides the underlying basis for TRAINING.

Contrast this against the short term cramming effect that encourages people to believe they can make up for lost time by simply trying hard. We even have an education system that would rather have kids memorize facts, details, and formulas than to teach them how to think. Many kids live lazily for 5 days during the week and then “CRAM” for the final in an attempt to pull out a grade. Our athletes do this as well. They eat junk food constantly, practice relaxation continually, miss practices because they had too many sleepovers, and then wonder why they couldn’t meet the demands of the sport. Once this has occurred then excuses come. “My son or daughter is over worked”, “Too much on the plate and coach expects too much” are all part of the masterful system to protect our young people from the sacrifice, dedication, and training that is required to legitimately cultivate a deep unshakeable confidence. I am not talking about those few that truly are over committed and need to learn the art of rest and relaxation. However, I see many young people that believe they can live comfortably in the summer and some how expect that they will have the “spot” they had last year. In my mind every young person, athlete or not, should be training themselves in some manner. They should have to be accountable, push themselves to be uncomfortable. The world does not allow you to cram. Success requires a “Training Program”, a strategy for helping you earn through dedication and sacrifice those accomplishments that are most purposeful and embedded in your being.

Let’s engage in long-term training. Put yourself in situations that force you to deal with disappointment, failure and doubt. This is when you build confidence that is unshakable. When this happens you have truly trained yourself for long-term success.

If you would like to provide your young person with the gift of confidence that is unshakable, contact me for a free consult. You will not be disappointed. We’ve also designed Parent Challenge Questions to accompany this article and to help you have quality conversations with your kids… Click here for the questions.